Please Excuse Me while I Cry

I had hoped to upload another post before now, but last week I cried too many tears to put down anything that made much sense. As I was passing through the halfway point of the trip, my emotions were high and my motivation to keep moving forward was very low. I was sick of living out of a backpack, tired of missing my boyfriend, family, and friends, miserable from the cold weather, and very much ready to just head home. 

Heavy and plentiful were my emotions, and heavy and plentiful they’ll continue to be. What made last week especially difficult, however, was my realization that I would have to cancel my trek to Machu Picchu. For too long I had been ignoring the stubborn pain in my foot that became increasingly aggravated after all of my walking to, from, around, and within all of the places I’ve visited this last month and a half.

Typically, I’m good to push through the pain, but in Santiago, after returning from Valparaíso, I finally admitted to myself that this time it wasn’t going to be worth it. Maybe I could have survived day one, but I knew that twenty-six miles through the mountains with three nights of camping would have been absolutely miserable and, in fact, a dumb decision for both my health and sanity.

Through tear-filled phone calls to my boyfriend and mother, I decided that I needed to change my plans. While I still get to see Machu Picchu by train, I’ll no longer be four days out on the Inca Trail. Rather, I’ll have a few extra days in Cusco to hang out and explore. Not all is lost, for sure. But, as you could imagine, it was hard to come to terms with the cancellation of what I had considered to be the pinnacle of this trip. I needed several good crying sessions and lots of consolation from loved ones to get over the upset (and potential loss of a heckaton of money). 

In Lima now, I’m doing much much better. It’s warmer. I’ve enjoyed my hostel and the people I’ve met here. Tomorrow I leave for Cusco and am very excited for what the city has to offer. In the meantime, I’m doing my best to take it easy on my foot (which, admittedly, is quite hard when walking around makes up a good portion of any tourist’s day) and enjoy the last month of the adventure. 

Good or bad, there is a part of me counting down the days until I return home. At the same time, there’s another part working really hard to soak in the joys of traveling and living in different countries. I am very thankful for all of the ups and downs and, as always, am continuing to push foward.

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3 thoughts on “Please Excuse Me while I Cry

  1. Hope your foot heals quickly and that you continue to see wonderful things and absorb just being there. These memories will go with you throughout your life. We’re missing you, too. I’m glad for the many communication devices we have these days. Think how far we’ve come from Pony Express. I am eager to hear about the trip.
    Love you. Nancy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nancy, thanks for your kind words! I’m so thankful for all the ways that we can keep in touch. I’d be struggling if I couldn’t communicate with those back home. Thanks for reading and see you soon!

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  2. Lauren, Im so proud of you for working past fear. When you were younger I would never imagined your courage to travel, by yourself, in a foreign country like you are doing. Kudos! You will never forget this. I was just thinking about your disappointment in not being able to hike Machu Picchu. As you are walking( for real) with Jesus, He may have thrown this obstical in your way to protect you from something you do not see. I know that sounds like a mom answer. Plus, I’m probably telling you something you already know. But I can’t tell you how many times in life He has protected me in exactly the same way (except not getting to hike a super cool mountain). Take heart, He has your best interest at heart. He knows you and he wants the very best for you! Praying for you! Love you! Aunt Kelly

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